Still and Quiet

I haven't had much to say lately.  All the excitement of early April tapered off into quiet stillness.  Maybe it's because I've felt too restless to settle myself into words.  Nothing seems to hold my attention long enough to manifest into any kind of substance.  Or maybe it's because I turn 35 in two short weeks and I've found myself very introspective, not handling aging as well as I tell myself I am.  Finding myself in my late thirties has a very different feel than being in my early thirties.  Or maybe it's that I'm questioning what's next, what is that next thing I need to give my energy too, that thing that will fill me with excitement like blogging did in the beginning and then later photography.  I'm in that place where I'm ready for something new, hungry for it even.  Or maybe it's because after returning from Seattle I've felt a little trapped in my life, wanting something more but feeling so uncertain, balancing on what it while spinning on what can be.

That's where I am right now: a place of still quietness with underpinnings of restlessness.

So how are you...or should I say where?

Comments

[bird tweet]

a reflective...nay... a blank stillness is more like it for me. in 3 extremely fast moving weeks i will be 55. each decade brings it's own point of no return. i can't remember what it was like to be 35. the restlessness has never ceased though i know that. always, there is more and more i want from my life as the hour glass runs lower and lower. it isn't something new that will quiet this restlessness in me i know that now. if i can stay quiet for awhile in the blank stillness i will feel renewed and ready to continue along a path that has worn but well loved footprints leading the way. the path goes onward with no clear destination but the journey is breathtaking!
enjoy celebrating your birth day!
your friend, bird tweet robin from down the road

[susan]

Still and quiet sounds lovely to me. Just be with it!

[DebR]

I went through the same thing on my birthday a couple of months ago, only a decade ahead of you - facing being "late 40's" instead of "early" or even "mid 40's" bothered me a lot more than I wanted it to. But of course eventually you adjust because, really, what other choice is there. :-/ I absolutely think that sense of restlessness goes along with that. Now though, two months later, I'm feeling much more at peace with the idea. I bet you will too, and that something will come along to excite you and interest you. If you wait with your eyes wide open, sooner or later it always does.

[JanePoe (aka Deborah)]

M - I find that I often get into that kind of space after coming back from a trip ... maybe it's the whole coming down off of stepping out of your daily world phenomena ... definitely causes reflection. Of course, crossing into the second half of the 30s is another reason to reflect. I did it too. Just remember, in a few years, you'll get to start another decade & be in the "early" phase again (okay, okay, not much help right now!!)

Seriously though, all this contemplation is normal and helps the growth process.

Sending you peace, love and happiest Mother's Day wishes. xx, JP/deb

p.s. now blogging at a slightly different address ... www.janepoet.blogspot.com

[linda]

I've lived in my 40's for seven years now. I wouldn't go back to my thirties. I watch my friends who are older, and they are happy, confident, and living their lives to the fullest. We all know it's coming, we all learn to deal. Go with the flow, we put with what we have to, and we make it. You make your own life happen. Don't wait for it to come to you. Go get it!

[Elizabeth]

ummmmmmm, delicious quiet space. I love quiet space-- love when it comes in-- quiet still oh so quiet-- but then, I love going through car washes for the sense of being in a bubble so perhaps I'm not the best one to respond to this ..

[Lynn]

I am nearing 35 this summer and I too am in a quiet space, but I am ok with that. Sometimes I think just tuning out the outside and living awhile makes the most sense. Wishing you a peacful birthday.

[Beth]

Oh dear one....I'm with you in that quiet spot !!

and those pictures of you....well, you are beautiful !!!

beth
www.moredoors.blogspot.com

[stef]

I totally get you right now, this is me to a T!!!

thanks for sharing ~ always...

xoxox

[susanna]

Ohhh, I've been there, too. Sometimes that in-transition state, that feeling of wanting Something More, is difficult. I tend to get frustrated when I can't see my path clearly, especially when I don't know what it is that I'm wanting.

Just know that you WILL get there, to wherever you want to be because you are taking steps towards that something and somewhere, even if it seems unclear right now. Does that make any sense at all??? :)

Be kind to yourself along the way!

[Melba]

I will be 38 in August.
I feel so grateful to be older after experiencing such a painful growth spurt through out all of my twenties.
I feel Really, really hopeful. Like no matter what, Life is just so Beautiful the Good will always return, resurface.

Stillness has really propelled me forward and sustained my Movement. As much as possible I try to justBe and let my whole body feel...whatever it is it is feeling.

Happy early Birthday.

I Believe what You Seek You will Find!
XO,
Melba

[pink sky]

mid thirties love. until 37...mid thirties (at least that's what i say about my 36 year old self :) hope you are celebrating in that introspection...there is so much to throw a party over michelle. i'll bring the wine and the noismakers!

[Liz]

I am trying to stay focused and finish some artwork that has been brewing for awhile, but down deep I am feeling restless and unfocused... maybe its the time of year... maybe it's just the time of the world...

[darlene]

i turn 40 this year, in november and i thought i would be freaked right out but strangely not so much. i have love and some semblance of security, i own a house with a yard just big enough for a garden and i never thought i would have any of that. i am also on the cusp of living some big dreams and everyday something new and exciting happens with it, new thrilling, i can't believe this is happening to me opportunities :) i feel energized and scared and excited all rolled up into one big smile.

lots happened to me between 35 and now ~ the cool thing about getting older i think is that life continues to change and our opportunities continue to grow if we let them :) i for one am looking forward to seeing what happens in the next five years!

i think you are on the edge of wonderful things as well, just a feeling i get :) i too hope you are planning something magical for your birthday. 35 is a good one i think :)

xo

[kristen]

I'm standing shoulder to shoulder with you in not taking my age very well (44 this year, i don't quite know how that happened), and I'm feeling very quiet in blogland, unable to formulate words even though they seem to be brimming inside of me.

This sums it up for me exactly: "a place of still quietness with underpinnings of restlessness."

[chocolate covered musings]

i am in a period of growth, that seems to be nicely coinciding with spring. new friendships are blooming in my garden, along with wonderful new connections with women via blogging and travelling. i'm on the other side of 35 (i'll be 36 this year) and i am loving my life. it seems like i am awakening to a whole new me, a side of myself i was too unconscious to even realise was there until now. it feels exciting, though in a quiet sort of way, not a 'waaaah! i'm here world, look at me' sort of way (does that even make sense?!) i am learning to be happy and accepting of where-ever i am in this moment, slowly coming to understand that until i am, i will not know true joy. i hope you have a great birthday, i'll be thinking of you.

x

[tanaya]

I don't know what it is about Seattle, but like a nymph I came and fell in love and have returned, this time for good.

We have been living here almost a year now, and I can't imagine ever leaving. I am a different person in this place; a better person. Somehow, in this place, I am closer to the person that I want to become.

Happy almost birthday. I hope you are planning something magical.