I Really Need a Vacation...or Art Fest Can't Come a Moment Too Soon

Talk about moody.  I feel like I've been the biggest bitch lately.  I can't quite figure out what's going on with me other than I really need to get away from everything.  I've been sleeping in the extra bedroom not because anything is wrong with my relationships but because I've been in such a bad mood for the past few days I've sequestered myself away from everyone else.  Little things grate on my nerves.  I come unglued easily and I'm in a really bad place with myself.  I've done a lot of beating up on myself lately (read: a whole lot of overeating...a WHOLE LOT of overeating.)  I feel completely miserable and although I've been trying to do little things for myself, to nurture myself, nothing seems to be working.  I've curled up in bed the past couple evenings in tears because I feel so unhappy...and for no reason other than I can't quite get in sync with myself.  Which is why I'm so glad I'll be heading to Art Fest next week.  I need it.  I need time to bond with fellow friends and artists.  I need time to do some major soul nourishing things, like lots of writing.  I need time to gift myself with the invaluable gift of creative renewal.  I need to leave work and responsibilities behind and have one great big play date with my inner artist.  I can't wait.  This evening I purchased a few last minute clothing items (a new jacket, a couple of new shirts) and I pulled the suitcase out of the closet to begin filling it.  I have a lot to do between now and my flight on Tuesday but not even my mile long to-do list can squelch my excitement. 

Comments

[Cynthia]

I can so relate, the cap to the toothpaste
falls on the floor, the remote has to be
pushed really hard and off in a tailspin!
Probably, need to slow down and relax,
and get some serious massage time.

[susanna]

Oh, I hope that you find inspiration and support and love and creativity on your trip. It sounds like you need to get away from this current stretch in life. Not that there is anything wrong with your life - sometimes we (and I say "we" because I have been there, too) just need to get away on our own and feed our souls. Have fun at Artfest!

[Sam]

Babe, I hear you. I really do. There was a full moon over the weekend, I think so maybe that explains some of it... I've been oddly out of sorts, probably from a lack of solid sleep, just the ordinary wear and tear of daily life. It's no fun when you look at your behavior and realize what a brat you're being (and I mean that about myself here). You will be soul-nourished at ArtFest, the just act of getting away will be golden. Enjoy it to the fullest. I can't wait to see what transpires...

[gkgirl]

funny...
i have also been in a bit of funk
this past week and have been split
between feeling
like i am going to burst into tears
to
i am going to rip someone's head off
to
i just want to sleep and sleep and sleep...
gah.

i need spring.
i really, really, really need spring.

so hugs and understanding to you
and i am so happy that you have something
as exciting as art fest to look forward to!

oh...
and i love that photo.
truly.

[Jennifer (she said)]

Yesterday was one of those days where I really felt it would be better for everyone if I just went to bed and stayed there until morning. I tried and tried to get my mood up. For most of the day, the best thing I could do was not let myself go there (to self bashing or negative thinking in general). I just sort of tried to keep my brain in a foggy state of not thinking.

My sister felt the same way - and obviously you were having a hard time too. I feel for you!

Yesterday being optimistic and trying to believe in myself and that I deserve joy were just very difficult tasks. But I knew that if I had one tiny bit of a moment where I could try something new, I wanted to. So late last night right before bed I pretended I was being interviewed for Design Sponge :-) I listen to the podcasts there a lot as a way of staying inspired to do the things I really love. I asked myself questions and wrote them down. I made sure I fit in questions about my art, my writing, my family, my wonderful new house, financial security...all of the areas where I want to see change. And when I was done answering as though all of these changes were my reality, I felt so much better. This morning I woke up feeling pretty good, so I went through the whole interview again in my kitchen after my partner and son had left for school. It really helped. Make believe is so fun and powerful, I think.

I hope you feel better as soon as you can. And I can really hear how much you're needing some creative space/time right now - so I'm happy for you that you get to take your trip so soon :0)

Oh - I'm going to write down my interview questions just in case it inspires you (or anyone else). Under each category, I spoke as if I already had everything I need. I created the life I am moving toward, and the characteristics I need to see in my family and relationships as well...

1) When did you first want to be an artist or a writer?
2) What are you working on right now?
3) What keeps you happy? What makes you want to run your own business and create things?
4) So you aren't a starving artist?
5) Comment: Wow - you're really optimistic!(followed by my response to that statement...)
6)What are some other ways art and writing have helped you?
7) Speaking of family, describe yours.
8) What would you say has been the key to your success? The life you have?

[kelly]

i tend to do the same thing. i signed up for squam in sept. this week b and iwere discussing budget and i almost cancelled my trip. but then i thought - you have 6 months to pay this off, you need to go be with other artists. so damn it - i am going! treat yourself to this, i know you will soak it all in. i bet it is just what you need.

[Thea]

I am so utterly in the same place, and tears stream down my face that I won't be with you at artfest. Ohhhh it really hurts.

I love you and I hope that this mood lifts baby doll.

Hugs love and kisses

[Manja (tglom)]

Oh well, what beautiful photographs you take!!! Thanks for showing and sharing. I am a reflex camera beginner, just making my first steps. I stopped by due to your publication at "Artful blogging" - have been so much impressed and inspired. I will save both links... I just read some less words on the other, but they are so personal. My compliments for being so open... Hope to talk soon again. Cheers, Manja