one of THOSE life moments

we all have THOSE life moments.  moments we know are truly important.  moments we know that when asked years from now to list some of the most memorable moments of your life this moment will be on that list.  moments that cause us to close our eyes and try as hard as we can to etch every detail into our brains so we'll never forget it.  i had one of THOSE moments today.  this afternoon i left work a little early to join a group of strangers in a dimly lit theater to hear Nikki Giovanni, civil rights activist and poet, tell some of her life stories.  i've had many significant life moments and this one joined that list.  it was indescribable. 

i wish i could tell you what it was like to see her step up to the podium, to hear her light-hearted laughter, to hear the words of her poetry from her own mouth.  i wish i could adequately describe her smile, her energy, her humor.  she was everything i expected her to be and nothing i expected.  she didn't read her poetry in the big way maya angelou does (who i've never seen in person, only on tv).  she didn't read it in a soft-spoken way.  she read it like a woman on the phone with her best friend who she hasn't talked to in days, spilling her words quickly and in a tone of familiarity.  she told her stories as if she'd known all of us her whole life, sometimes getting sidetracked, inserting sarcasm here and there, rushing over some of her most important statements, pausing a second so that we could catch it, and then saying, sometimes with a smile on her lips and sometimes with a voice so serious you knew not to cross her, 'well, it's the truth.'  she told stories about living through the death of her mother and shortly thereafter the death of her sister.  she told stories about emmett till and the long trip his mother made from chicago to claim his body, beaten and bloated, no longer recognizable.  she told stories about rosa parks and the significance of the bus ride she took on december 1, 1955.  she read poems she had written in memory of emmett till and in honor of his mother and the porters who stored his body with their personal belongings so that she could take him home where he belonged.  she read poems in honor of the strength and courage, anger and pride, it took his mother to refuse a closed casket funeral.  she read poems she'd written about rosa parks in a be-bop dance style so that kids today would have a way to relate to the significance of what she did.  she told her stories, sometimes with a flash of sarcastic humor, sometimes like a preacher looking for a hearty amen, and we all listened, barely breathing, no one daring to move.  and i don't know about everyone else but i sat there with tears in my eyes.  by the time our afternoon with Nikki was over i had a headache from trying to hold back the tears and it wasn't until i was finally sitting in my car that i let them flow.  she made us laugh, she made us shake our heads in disbelief, she made us gasp in horror, she made us cry, and more than once she made us stand in applause.

after her reading there was a book signing.  i have been carrying a book of her poetry around in my purse for several weeks now.  i've had it with me since the day i saw the poster advertising today's reading.  i stood in line with dozens of others, tears still in my eyes.  but when i reached the table and handed her my book i didn't have her sign it for me.  i told her i had a son who was only four and that he doesn't understand yet, but one day he will, and would she please sign my book for him.  and in the inside cover it now says, to britton, Nikki Giovanni.  by the time he's old enough to begin to understand the importance of the events Ms. Giovanni spoke about the montgomery bus boycott will be 70 plus years in the past.  dr. king will have been gone for over 40 years, emmett till even longer than that.  the stories she shared today will be more a part of history than they are today, some of them lost, some of them forgotten, some of them watered down...that is unless someone keeps telling them...with force, with conviction, without flinching.  and those stories will still be in her poetry, in every word she wrote.  and maybe he'll choose to read them.  and maybe he'll have a clearer picture of the importance of finding your voice and telling your stories, of voicing your anger, of speaking up for equality, of spilling your blood on the page, of fighting with what you've got...even if it's a pen.             

Comments

[Eileen Weigand]

As a grad student at Tech, I've heard Nikki Giovanni speak at one of the lowest points of my life and in the lives of students here- she is a blessing in so many ways. Thanks for sharing your experience of her- she is a tour de force!

[claire]

Oooh how delicious.

I call my moments like these 'dawnings'. The weird but great thing is I often get a premonition about them before they arrive. I'll get a quiet but insistent thought that says "You'll have a dawning on Wednesday", then I promptly forget about it, and then whaddya know - by the end of Wednesday a dawning has occured.

[Delia]

Sigh...sounds amazing!
Love,
D.

[darlene]

how wonderful to have experienced this moment ... and how wonderful that you have chosen to honor and share with your son ... you are so beautiful, xo

[Marilyn]

A beautiful post capturing a beautiful moment.

[Sam]

Life is SO GOOD, with these juicy happenings...can you believe it? Foo Fighters and Nikki Giovanni, in the same year?! And I got see Over the Rhine...our dreams are coming true, my friend.

I love her spirit - and have always had a soft spot for her, I love some of her love poems - and now she sounds like someone I would really like as a person. The fact that she wrote poems for people - Emmett Till's mother, the porters - it reminds how personal poetry can be and is, a gift, a shout -

[Imelda / GreenishLady]

It is wonderful to read about this in so much vivid detail, I feel as though I was there. Thank you for sharing it. I've only ever seen a couple of short video-clips of Nikki Giovanni reading, but the power is evident, and I would love to get the chance to hear her read sometime.

[DebR]

Hi Michelle. I just gave you an award. Check out my blog to see why. :-)

[gkgirl]

i realize
i need to read her...i need to add
this to my list, take action, and read her.

thank you for sharing this experience.
it sounds like it was amazing
and will affect you for a long time to come.

[Jeanne]

Blessings
Love Jeanne

[Jennifer (she said)]

I was also blown away when I listened to her speak years and years ago in Cincinnati. I was so much younger then but it was during a time when I was soaking up Mary Oliver and Nikki Giovanni. She was such a powerful, powerful speaker. I remember thinking that she had these messages via her poetry which were what got me to her reading in the first place, and then, on top of that, her delivery was just artful, strong, and again, powerful.

I'm so glad you were able to discover and hear her. And what a gift/story to be able to share with your son in the future.

Jacob is six and a half, and his interest in social justice is so strong. He doesn't understand everything, not the complexities of some stories, but he does understand some of the most basic and important stuff. He was very, very interested in Martin Luther King Day and has had many conversations with me about his death/the reasons why it happened.

We have had discussions about people being treated unfairly because of what they believe, their sexual orientation, the color of their skin, their religion...it seems like I hear stories about these things when Jacob is around, and our conversations often begin because he knows I'm crying and wants to know why. It's tricky, figuring out what to say and not say to someone his age. I don't want to burden him with more than he can understand but I don't want to lie, either.

With Jacob, this year has seemed like a good time to have these conversations at least on some level. He really does get it. Little people are amazing creatures...

[bella]

I've never heard of Nikki Giovanni - I really must look into her work. I'm so happy that you had this opportunity to hear her speak/read her poetry. I'm sure the experience will stay with you forever. And..wow..what a beautiful gift for your little man. Just lovely.

[Frankie]

What an absolutely wonderful moment, memory, for you to have with with you always. It's a part of you now and forever will be. It's beautiful.

I loved your last few lines about fighting through writing, about the importance of story-telling. It's so very true. It made me think of these lyrics by Ani DiFranco:
"i sing sometimes
like my life is at stake
'cause you're only as loud
as the noises you make
i'm learning to laugh as hard
as i can listen
'cause silence
is violence
in women and poor people
if more people were screaming then i could relax
but a good brain ain't diddley
if you don't have the facts
we live in a breakable takeable world
an ever available possible world
and we can make music
like we can make do
genius is in a back beat
backseat to nothing if you're dancing
especially something stupid
like i.q.
for every lie i unlearn
i learn something new
i sing sometimes for the war that i fight
'cause every tool is a weapon -
if you hold it right."

And as artists, we fight with what we have for what we believe.

[kelly]

this is my favorite entry....you set the stage beautifully. looks like i have some reading to do.

[January]

Nikki Giovanni is amazing, and so are you for passing this legacy down to your son.

I've seen her read before, and I'll get to hear her in April. When I think of her I think of her speech at VA Tech at the rally after the school shootings.

Simply the best (and Nikki is cool, too.).

[January]

What an awesome way to spend VD. I've heard Nikki read a long time ago, and will hear her again in April.

I had a similar experience with poet Natasha Trethewey. I'll post about it today.

Hope you are well.

[January]

What an awesome way to spend VD. I've heard Nikki read a long time ago, and will hear her again in April.

I had a similar experience with poet Natasha Trethewey. I'll post about it today.

Hope you are well.

[Thea]

I have tingles-and goosebumps.

I see you standing so tall here-I am so proud that you went to this. That you wrote your oen words to share this experience. That Britton has such a mamma. What a lucky boy he is.

You are special and beautiful and I love you immensely.

[amy]

so beautiful. you son has a wonderful role model - his mum - to teach him about the power of words and of honesty.

[Bethany]

Your last few lines resonate so strongly with what I've always believed -- that our words and stories and "blood on the page" change more lives than force ever could.

[Frida]

amen